I’m back, and the reunion I spoke of and it was great, albeit intense enough that coming back to work was required to recuperate. We went through a lot together, and talking about old times, both good and bad, was therapeutic for all. There’s not a molecule of “victimhood” in the lot of us, but traumatic events take their toll on everyone, creating issues that sometimes take years, or even decades, before they are identified, explored, understood and finally resolved.

If you’ve been with me for a while, you know that I instruct you frequently to not dwell on the past so that you don’t get bogged down in it, but you can’t run from your past, either. Unresolved issues cause problems, such as nightmares and lack of sleep, hidden stress, etc., that degrades not only your health, but your general quality of life, and it’s good to occasionally open that closet door and see if any of the skeletons in there are ready to come out and go away.

During an interesting discussion with a new student, we got on the subject of women testing men’s level of wussitude and why being a nice guy doesn’t work for either of you, and since I’ve not spoken about it for awhile, I’d like to share briefly with you the high points of that conversation. Even if you think you already know all of this, read it anyway, because you can never tell when the spark of inspiration or revelation will light you up!

To get you newbies caught up, women often push bad positions in arguments, insist on unreasonable concessions, pout, pitch fits, and engage in a lot of other seemingly absurd behavior with a very logical and targeted purpose, and it’s not to get what they want. You heard me; it’s not to get what they want. It’s to get you to say, “NO.” Why?

It’s one of the elements of that “men are hunters, women are gatherers” thing that anthropologists talk about. I’ll spare you most of the boring details, but suffice it to say that as we evolved (and I’m talking about improving and becoming more sophisticated as humans, not about the age-old debate about evolution vs. creation as an explanation as to how we got here, so save the anti-evolution hate mail and “intelligent design” sermons for somebody who will read it), we developed different skills and physical characteristics that made each gender better suited to handle specific tasks.

Over time, men who had larger lungs, bigger skeletons and musculature, and spatial skills (navigation, being able to mentally gauge proximity to guess the arc of a spear as he threw it, developing tools, etc.) to help provide food and protect themselves and others survived better and reproduced more. Women who had wider hips (to aid in childbirth), advanced language skills (to cooperate with others in building huts, processing skins and sinew to build weapons, and other tasks that were best conducted in cooperative enterprises), sharper sense of smell (to sense danger approaching the dwelling and identify edible or poisonous plants), etc., also survived and reproduced more.

As with everything biological in every species of life, those whose survivability traits were the best-developed reproduced the most – survival of the fittest in its purest form. Some men were better protectors and providers than others. Some women were better at tuning in to a man’s traits and determining how much of a hunter and leader he could be. Through the generations, they became biologically “wired” through this process of natural selection (by locking in those genes that created successful traits) to possess skills that helped in finding a good mate.

While chasing down and killing a rabbit or deer with bare hands or a bear with a spear is no longer required for a woman and child to eat, and indeed, in most parts of the world women routinely provide for themselves quite adequately without the help of a man, these mechanisms are still present and active in the female brain, and they automatically engage to size a man up from time to time – indeed, virtually every time they encounter a man, familiar or not. Much has changed, but one thing hasn’t: the nature of the test…

…which, in a nutshell, is to provoke you in some way to see if you will say “NO” to her when she is being unreasonable. Most of the time it is not at all deliberate, and you would laugh yourself silly as you read transcripts of conversations and e-mails in which women said, “I NEVER test a man. That’s silly!” and then confessed to it within just a few seconds as their testing actions were called to their attention, after which many of them said, “Oh my God! He must hate me!”

No, he doesn’t hate you, Ladies. Your testing is a pain in our collective ass, but it doesn’t make us hate you. It makes us think you’re nuts until we understand what it is and why you do it. Then it’s usually somewhere between mildly annoying and wonderfully amusing. So on that note, guys, here it is, in a nutshell:

A woman knows, instinctively, without ever being told, as a result of biological development through the ages, that if a man can’t stand up TO her (when appropriate), he cannot stand up FOR her or WITH her. “When appropriate” is a big deal, too, because when it is inappropriate to stand against her, you must also be able to stand with her, no matter how much ego or crow you might have to swallow, and if she’s in the wrong, you have to be enough of a leader to show her that she’s wrong so she doesn’t push a bad position any further and get embarrassed or hurt.

Write that down, and recite it mentally every time you start to enter a conversation with a woman until it becomes second nature, because you will eventually need it with every women you ever meet if you talk to her more than a few minutes, maybe even a few seconds. They have to know, and are biologically-driven to find out, whether it’s in a casual or formal situation, public or intimate context, and regardless of the nature or longevity of your relationship.

You WILL be tested, and if you can say “NO” to a woman she will feel safe in letting you get to know her better, safe in letting you hold sway over her emotions, safe in letting you negotiate on her behalf or as her adversary (because you’ll say “NO” directly instead of saying “YES” and then trying to trick her or cheat her in some other way). No matter what you may think, there is no possible downside to saying “NO” when it’s appropriate and the logical thing to do.

But when is that? We’ll get to that in a minute, but before we do, let me clue you in on a HUGE difference in the way we communicate: nearly all communication you ever have with a woman, and ALL communication that carries the potential for conflict, will start as a negotiation.

It is EXPECTED that you enter a discussion with either a position or a statement that you require more information. So when saying “NO,” unless you are abusive about it, in a woman’s mind and according to the protocol she will naturally follow, that “NO” is not final; it is merely your opening negotiating position, and she expects a chance to give you input that will persuade you. An inappropriate “NO” will only anger a woman if you deliver the “NO” and deny her the opportunity of negotiation. That’s why they get so ticked off when we act like we’re afraid to say “NO;” it’s just too wussy for words in their world.

But it does make things easier if you try to say “NO” only when appropriate, because it shows that you are reading her, which in turn means that you are paying attention to her, a big compliment in the women’s playbook. The easiest way to draw the line between an appropriate and inappropriate “NO” is to ask one simple question, “Has she earned a ‘yes’?”

If your wife says she wants new furniture for a room, and has contributed to the smooth and secure operation of the household, whether through a job or “domestic efforts,” been loyal and trustworthy, given you love and respect, etc., then she’s earned a “yes,” as long as what she’s asking for is within or can be worked into your budget, obviously. If she’s laid around on her lazy or drunken butt while you and the kids have done everything and complained because you didn’t do it fast enough, abused herself and you, and exhibited a general lack of respect for herself and everyone around her, no, she hasn’t.

Indeed, she’s earned a trip out the door to divorce court, just as you would if you did the same thing. It’s really that plain and simple – ruthless, as one forum member called it, but necessary just the same. (It’s at http://forum.makingherhappy.com, and you should visit, because even though it’s still in beta and there are under 200 people there, the posts are REALLY interesting and helpful already.)

Or, put another way, if you think she deserves it and want to agree because of that, she’s earned a “yes,” but if you’re thinking about giving in to earn some favor from her that really isn’t a favor, but something a wife should be doing, you’re about to get busted for being a wuss, and getting the furniture without gaining whatever favor you were after is just the beginning of your punishment, so don’t go there. You can reward good behavior and punish the bad behavior, and you can exhibit good behavior by acting like a man of self-respect, but you cannot “buy off” a woman, at least not any woman worth having. That is in essence saying to her that you think she’s a prostitute, and they don’t take kindly to such things, sometimes even when they are.

As I said to this new reader today, I have searched extensively to find any rational downside to a man having genuine self-esteem and engaging in attractive behavior like being strong for his wife or girlfriend, and I have failed utterly to identify even an iota’s worth of a good reason to do anything less. If a woman says she wants something, even if you think it’s the right thing to do, invite her to make her case, thereby opening the negotiation that she expects and WANTS to engage in. Yes, you read that right.

Women naturally engage in negotiation to communicate nearly everything, and if she’s testing, you’ve made the right move, and if she’s not, she’ll be happy to build the emotion of making her case instead of just having you give in. The same thing if you think you should say “no” – yes, really! If you think it’s a bad idea, say so, and immediately invite her to make her case so that she doesn’t feel shut down and retaliate. It would sound something like:

Her: “Honey, what do you think about our living room furniture?” (Implied statement: “Honey, I want new living room furniture, and it’s time to negotiate.”)

You: “I like it fine, why?” (The “why” is needed for her to continue; if you don’t say it, she will most likely take it that you shut down the discussion!)

Her: “Well I think it needs to be replaced.” (Or in the long version, “Don’t you think it looks old and worn out (or the color is wrong, or it’s uncomfortable, etc.)?” meaning “I want to change it.” Some women will continually ask questions to repeat the statement they are trying to make until you make it back to them, signifying understanding and interest.)

You: “Well, like I said, I don’t see any problem with it, but you live her too, so tell me what makes you want to replace it.”

From there, she’ll either give you good reasons to do so, like pointing out that it’s stained, uncomfortable worn, or she’s so bored with it she doesn’t feel comfortable in the room anymore (yes, that can be a very legitimate reason, as you would know if you knew everything you need to know about women, depending on whether she is truly bored with the furniture and the room condition or if she is generally bored and wanting “retail therapy” on the magnitude of a furniture purchase), or she’ll stammer around talking about where you can buy it on sale, or giving you the old “you’d just buy it for me without asking questions if you loved me,” routine if she doesn’t have a good reason and is either testing you or showing her true colors as a gold-digger (and maybe it’s time to test her a bit, too!)

The bottom line is that if she has a good reason, she’ll enjoy talking about it and enjoy the intimacy and challenge of the negotiation. And if she doesn’t, her behavior will make it quite obvious.

Living with a woman is easy if you are fairly well-matched in terms of values, tastes and interests and you understand what you need to know about women, which is how they are both like us and different from us, and how to communicate well enough to recognize negotiations, questions that are statements, etc. Now, you have a decision to make…

Are you going to spend a lifetime trying to learn on your own and reach the end of your life lonely and still not knowing?

Or worse, assume that I’m full of crap and you don’t need to learn anything?

Or are you one of us guys who see a problem, seek out a viable solution, preferably one that has already worked for somebody else in similar circumstances, and fix it?

If you’re that first guy, I commend your can-do attitude, but isn’t reinventing the wheel a gross waste of time? Not to mention a HUGE risk of having life – family life – as you know it, come to a sudden halt if you don’t figure it out, or don’t figure it out fast enough?

If you’re that second guy, why are you reading my newsletter? If you’re looking for validation of your past actions instead of a solution to your self-inflicted problems, you’re looking in the wrong place. I help people fix problems, not feel good about having created them.

If you’re that third guy, let me hook you up with what you need, and yes, it has already been tested and proven by thousands of couples. Go to http://www.makingherhappy.com and download your copy of “THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage.” Read it. Study it. Learn from it the answer to that oldest of man’s questions: “What makes a woman tick?” and that next oldest: “What do women REALLY want?” Then go sweep your woman off her feet…I dare you! (And for those of you in the southern United States, “I double-dog dare you!”)

In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!
David Cunningham

Labels:authority, Communication, How Women Behave, Leadership,Male Attitude, Negotiation, Projecting Respect, What Women Want

This weekend is coming! Time to buckle down and learn something useful to put to work this coming week, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you’ve got plenty of time for beer and sports, so give me a few minutes here to teach you something productive, albeit in one of the longer pieces I’ve given you (just a few extra paragraphs, so don’t panic), and then you can go out and play with your friends.

Wait, speaking of the weekend, I will be largely unavailable from the time you see this post until Tuesday morning. I’m going to a reunion with some of the surviving members of my Special Forces unit and others I’ve worked with over the years, and I’ll be spending a lot of time coaching some of them, among other things. Platinum Access members, in case you missed the e-mail, I will be checking voicemail approximately hourly, so don’t panic if you get my voicemail when you call. If any of you have any issue with my limited availability this weekend, let me know and we can either make an appointment to connect or I’ll refund the month’s fee for you. I rarely take time off, but when I do, it’s going to be at nobody’s expense but my own. Forum members, I’ll try to keep up with you at bedtime and upon waking.

Let’s get into today’s lesson…

I had a pretty tough childhood because I was precocious and insisted on knowing everything. That in itself is tough, but I was also independent, and wanted to know everything, even if it meant learning it the hard way through trial and error. I learned a lot, too.

On the day my military career started, I was labeled a “maverick,” a guy who has a hard time getting with the program because he has a knack for finding a better way to do things and doesn’t toe the line when he should. I got through basic training, and then got into some really sticky situations.

Nobody got hurt or killed because of my choices or actions, but hellfire did rain down on my head a few times, because for every few “atta-boy’s” I’d get for going above and beyond the call, there would be an “oh sh*t” to negate them in one fell stroke. My commanding officer was constantly running interference for me with the big brass, and finally everything came to a head and I was ordered to report to my CO’s CO, a two-star general who shall remain nameless for a variety of reasons, for an “operational competency review.”

After introductions and the traditional reading of my file (I still don’t know why they go through that little ritual, and I’m not sure they do), the general said to me, “Cunningham, you’re smart, too damned smart for your own good. I need you to wise up before you compromise an op and get yourself or one of my other men killed. Do you know the difference?”

Everybody in my unit, including myself, was barely 19, full of piss and vinegar, drawing hazardous duty pay, and got off on all the gung ho ritual language; in true gung-ho form I replied, “Sir, I do not know. If the general would explain the difference I will deploy that knowledge in a swift, proficient, and distinctly military manner.” I had no idea what he meant by, “The difference,” let alone what “the difference was, so it seemed like a good time to let him to all the talking.

He got a glint in his eye and said, “Very well. There are three kinds of people in the world, the foolish, the smart, and the wise. The foolish are those grab-asstic pieces of crap who waste time and life by never learning from their mistakes. The smart do learn from their mistakes, even if they are like you and make a lot of them because they want to be smarter. The wise move through life with patience and purpose, paying attention to what’s going on around them and learning from the mistakes and successes of others so that they don’t waste time and life making the same mistakes that others have made before them.

“I need you and every man under my command to be a wise man. We have a system here that is based on the mistakes and successes of those who came before you. It is not perfect, but it does work. You may be able to improve upon it, but you will do so by following the system during operations and providing any feedback you have during the post-operation debriefing. We want anything you can offer that will help to achieve objectives and save the lives of well-trained fighting men, but the time to deviate from the program is not when you are taking fire. That is your CO’s job, and my job, not yours. Do you get me?”

I thought he was somewhat full of crap because “improvise, adapt, and overcome” seems to be an integral part of my constitution, but I never forgot that bit about the foolish, the smart, and the wise, and had to accept it. My mission changed from trying to do it all on my own to trying to learn everything I could the most efficient way that I could, which for the most part has been to watch and learn from the behavior of others. To that end, we’re going to have an exercise right now to show you just how much you can learn from somebody else, even someone you don’t expect to have anything to teach you.

The following letter is one of the many success stories I’ve received. I chose it for this exercise because it explodes a myth and because on the surface it doesn’t even appear to be relevant to saving a stale or failing marriage or other committed relationship, yet it holds some of the best lessons you’ll ever learn. Meet Tom:

David,

I wanted to take a moment to give you some feedback. My wife and I were recently divorced after 15 years of marriage. We are both in our early 50′s. I worked really hard to save my marriage using logic.

I lost her to a bad boy. He is a real bum, without a job and still lives with his mother even though he is in his 50′s. What a real mooch.

For the longest time I tried to apply logic to what was happening to my marriage and I failed to understand just what was going wrong. I guess I was too ingrained into my habitual patterns. It was only after the divorce that I started to get your material and receive your newsletters. WOW. Boy, was I ever wrong in my approach to women. I did all the nice guy stuff and provided a good home, clothes, jewelry, cars etc. I worked my ass off to provide for her.

As I started to read your material I came to realize what a bad relationship I had been in and what really went wrong.

I came to realize that I had failed to create attraction in her although I had her affection. That was my fault. The dishonesty (for many years), the deceit, the cheating, the character defects, etc., are all her fault. In many ways our divorce is a blessing in disguise.

I have followed your advice and that of David DeAngelo’s program of Sexual Communication. Man what a difference it has made in my life and my approach to dating. I am now not trying to be the nice guy and “win” her favors. I am more confident in myself and out to have fun. I have played with and am learning the real way to create attraction and it is working. My successes with the new me are just outstanding and I am enjoying my life and playing a lot more. I don’t have to call for dates…they are calling me. Really attractive and quality women.

So I wanted to thank you for putting out the information that you do, in such a professional manner that us nice guys can see where we went wrong and how to fix it. Keep up the good work.

Sincerely
Tom

PS: Oh and by the way. The ex has noticed and wants back into my life. NO way in hell will I ever get back into her games again. She has lost the house, cars, clothes, her reputation, is in debt up to her eyebrows, etc. I could go on and on with what she has done to herself. Life is funny sometimes, but I have the ultimate revenge and it does taste good. Thanks.

So what can you learn from this story that will make you a wise man?

For starters, Tom didn’t just automatically blame everything on somebody else and assume no responsibility for what happened that led to his divorce. He buckled down and found information that gave him answers as to what happened and what he could change to make sure it didn’t happen again.

Lesson: Take personal responsibility when things don’t go as planned, figure out what happened, and learn how to make it go the right way.

Also note I only wrote a couple of paragraphs of advice targeted directly at those who are dating in “THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage,” yet Tom found lots of advice in it that helped him to be more successful in his dating life, BECAUSE HE WAS LOOKING FOR IT. For instance, he realized that the same process used to evaluate a current long-term relationship or marriage to see if it should be maintained can also be used to determine whether you should continue to date someone and to establish exactly what you want in future relationships. Good information isn’t always where you EXPECT to find it, but it is always WHERE YOU FIND IT, if you know what I mean.

Lesson: be ever-vigilant in looking for things that can make your life better; you may not find a pearl in every oyster, but finding a gold nugget lying in a pile of animal manure or a trash can doesn’t make it any less valuable than if it was found in a creek or a mine.
Tom also didn’t limit his options in solving his problems, and took advice to broaden his search. In “THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage,” I teach readers how to evaluate their relationship or marriage to determine if they should try to salvage it, because if you are grossly mismatched in areas like your personal value system or personal tastes, it’s never going to work because you will always be competing, compromising, sacrificing, or avoiding instead of cooperating, and your time and effort is far better applied to make a dignified and peaceful exit instead of beating a dead horse only to fail in the end and exit under fire after war is declared.

Included in the advice for those making such an exit are people to contact to help protect your assets in the event that a property settlement war does break out, and advice to seek out advice specific to succeeding in the dating game by Shelley McMurtry, F.J. Shark, John Alanis, Tiffany Taylor, David D’Angelo, etc., because jumping back into the dating game blind is one of the scariest things a person can do, and I’ve found their material to be very logical and rooted in real-world cause-and-effect relationships.

Instead of saying, “I’m tired of reading. I’ve done this before, I’m just going to jump in and it will be better this time,” Tom recognized that a recommendation from one good source of information about another source of information was likely a good call because no information seller will risk trashing his reputation by steering a customer in the wrong direction for an affiliate sale and blow any possibility of future direct sales.

Lesson: Know your limitations, and do everything you reasonably can to obtain help in overcoming them by seeking the advice of those who have succeeded before you.
And as big as they are, those are the small lessons. Look in Tom’s post script (the paragraph that follows the “P.S.,” which stands for “post script,” for those of you who skipped that class in high school). His ex has noticed the changes in him and wants back into his life! The dating gurus will often say that this can’t happen, but you must remember that in the dating world, that’s often correct. When you meet a stranger, your window of opportunity for creating attraction can be measured in minutes, maybe even a few seconds. But…

When you’ve been together for a while and your interest is fully vested, that window could be measured in YEARS in some cases, and months in almost all cases. Women like the protective feeling of stability, and will give you ample opportunity to make things right IF they see that you’re trying to do so.

Lesson: Even if the divorce is final, as long as she hasn’t filed for restraining orders (which indicate that all hope is indeed lost in nearly all cases in the long term, and in ALL cases in the short term), or some other man hasn’t created intense attraction within her (which usually results in a restraining order anyway), it’s NEVER too late to fix it as long as the compatibility is there to support it.
Also note he held her accountable for her mistakes, and that ultimately being held accountable and having to live the life that she chose was the worst punishment that could be heaped upon her.

Lesson: Justice is sweet, while revenge is a dish that simply should never be served, unless it’s “self-served.” War isn’t just “the most spectacular of all human endeavors” (General George S. Patton), it’s the most costly and utterly destructive, on any scale.
Here endeth the lessons. Right now, some of you are saying, “Geesh, that guy is long-winded. That’s annoying!” while others are thinking, “Wow! That guy must really care about this stuff, because it must have taken him a long time to put that together to share it with me, and look how much he just gave me!” I do, and it did, several hours in fact. Several hours that I could have spent with family and friends, building something in my beloved workshop or enjoying another hobby, cooking an elaborate gourmet dinner, or numerous other things for myself instead of for you. If you don’t need this much help from me, I’m happy for you, really, but I’m doing this to help people in crisis make their lives better just as much as I’m doing it to help other people keep their relationships from falling into crisis.

Lessons: Never look a gift horse in the mouth, and make the most of anything that comes your way.
Sorry, I couldn’t resist. Seriously, I have a lot to teach you and everybody else who needs it so that you can be wise and keep from making the mistakes that others have made before you. We hit the high spots here in this newsletter and in my blog posts, but dig deep into the tangled and dark nitty-gritty in “THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage,” and no matter what shape your relationship is in, there are many valuable lessons in there for you, lessons that will help you make your relationship better than it has ever been if you should be in it or help you get out of it with your dignity and a few dollars in your pocket and move on to find happiness elsewhere if you’re in the wrong relationship.

Your next move is to http://www.makingherhappy.com/ to download your copy of “THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage” and get started, because life is too short to wait. Never put off until tomorrow the success and happiness you can have today! I’d also suggest you stop by our forum at http://forum.makingherhappy.com/ and look around. There may already be enough information posted there to help you get some of your problems under control, and there are friends to be made, a hobby section, and a lot more to hold your interest. Yes, I could have just made it another touchy-feely relationship psychology forum where the blind leads the blind and everybody commiserates and calls those who find there is no reason to continue a loser, but why? This way is a lot more fun for all of us, and a lot more useful, so come on over and check it out.

In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!
David Cunningham

Labels:authority,Leadership,Male Attitude,Saving a Marriage,Taking Responsibility

I want to remind everyone that Facebook Connect has been successfully installed at our forum (http://forum.makingherhappy.com/) so you can easily share articles you like with friends, use Facebook’s “Like” feature, etc. It is not set up to automatically echo your posts to Facebook or anything like that, so if you have privacy concerns, you’re covered. We’re always on the lookout for more ways to make our forum more useful and entertaining for you, so if you have an idea or desire, please feel free to leave it in one of the suggestion box forums and we’ll see what we can do.

It’s another happy day, Ladies and Gentlemen! Here’s another couple who have used “THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage” to make their relationship one of passion and excitement instead of a torturous, miserable, boring coexistence, and you can learn a lot from them. Meet Marti:

Dear David,

Due to changes in our marriage and the feeling my husband and I had for each other, a few months ago we decided that we either had to make major improvements or call it quits. In doing research for help and talking to friends your book was recommended to us. The couple that told us about you is one of the happiest couples we know, and they said that it is because they have simply used what they learned in your book. So we decided to dive right in and see what you could do for us.

My biggest problem was that I felt as if sex with him was a chore, not something to enjoy or even want. I guess maybe you have heard it all by now, but I felt like maybe I was not the only woman that had ever had these feelings and in writing you maybe you could share this with other women.

What made it worse was that I tried and tried to tell my husband that the passion was gone and that we were in a rut, but I couldn’t get through to him. I asked him countless times how he felt about our relationship and our intimate life, and he would just say that he didn’t have or see a problem, and that was the end of the discussion, never giving me the chance to tell him what I needed to tell him. I just laid there, thinking about other things, sometimes other people, waiting for him to finish so I could go to sleep.

Since we have now completed your book and have put into our everyday life what we learned in it I can say I shocked myself. Everything in our relationship is better than it’s ever been! There is nothing about sharing myself with him that even comes close to a chore now. In fact it is just the opposite. He listens to me, and we really talk now, not just about our sex life, but about everything! When we started tuning into each other it was like our dating and marriage up to that point had just been a practice run. We finally REALLY know each other, all the time, and it’s wonderful!

As for the bedroom, now all he has to do it give me “that look” or touch me in the small of my back or just on my arm and I find myself wanting him as close to me as possible. And when he teases me and cracks that naughty grin I just want to eat him up! Sometimes he starts in on me before we even get out of bed in the morning, caressing and teasing, and then laughs and jumps out of bed and tells me if I’m good I’ll get more when he gets home. I daydream about him touching me, kissing me, enjoying my body as I enjoy his throughout the day every time he does that. Oh God right now just thinking about it I feel like calling him to come home for lunch!

WOW how different our lives are now! Now I am always looking forward to bedtime instead of looking for excuses not to have to go to bed until he is asleep. I do things to get his attention instead of avoiding him, because he is fun and exciting to be around. My friends even comment on how much they enjoy being around him now, and they used to tell me that it was time to move on because he was such a stick in the mud and I could do better. You have saved our marriage in more ways than one and I just wanted to say “Thank you” for all your hard work and for making it easy for us to save what we had and get back what brought us together in the first place – and then some!

Love ya,
Marti

My reply:

Thank you for that, Marti! It always makes my day when I get a success story like this, one in which the couple has followed my recommendation to use my book together, and learned from each other as the process continued. “THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage” was written for men partially because they have the most to learn, but also because it is the man’s job to take the lead, because taking the lead, even in the pursuit of enhancing attraction, is attractive to his female partner. You’re on the right track; just stay on it!

Take care, and keep in touch,
David

Notice that Marti doesn’t just talk about their sex-life reaching new levels. Their improved communication skills have brought them closer together, making their emotional intimacy more intense in addition to their physical intimacy; you may have noticed that she said she “asked him countless times how he felt about their relationship” and he would say it was fine and end the discussion without her getting to tell him what she needed to say. That’s the “asking questions to make a statement” mechanism at work as I’ve been describing it to you, a statement that she has a problem that she needs to discuss and that she wants the discussion to open NOW. A horribly common problem these days, but one that they will never again make, and one that you don’t have to make now that you know about it.

Being attractive to the woman you love obviously enhances your sex-life, but it also enhances the rest of your life together as well, often being the catalyst in escalating relationships between married couples (being pulled together by attraction makes couples want to explore other aspects of each other) who were functionally just roommates and/or business partners to true LIFE PARTNERS, friends, playmates, adventure partners – even better parents!

Or had it not occurred to you that it would be much easier to be better parents if you could communicate with each other more effectively and prepare a more unified front to present to the kids? And guess what else there, DAD…your daughters are “women-in-training,” and what you learn to communicate better with their mother will also help you to keep from drowning in that estrogen ocean when their hormones start surging and “Daddy’s little girl” turns into “Daddy’s little drama queen”!!! Daughters in their teens grow away from fathers for the same reason wives grow away from husbands, because he doesn’t understand them when they try to talk and they just get frustrated and give up. Don’t let them give up on you!

Gents, there is no downside here, and an unlimited upside. Opportunities like this don’t come along often, so take advantage of this one while you can. Go to http://www.makingherhappy.com/ and get your copy of “THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage” for less than the cost of a good meal for two, and start reading, right now, before you waste another minute of your life, because life’s too short to be regarded as a chore, and if your wife regards you as a chore for long, she’s likely to tender her resignation, and take half or more of “the company” with her!

In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!
David Cunningham

Labels: Communication, How Women Behave, Male Attitude, Romance, Saving a Marriage, Sweeping Her Off Her Feet, Taking Responsibility

Before I get into today’s lesson, I’m sure some of you have noticed I’ve missed a couple of days in the last couple of weeks, and I want to assure you that it’s not because I’m getting lax or that this project has been bumped down on my priority list. There simply has been more than the usual amount of pandemonium (floods and storm damage, computer issues, selling a car, family issues, etc.) and even on as little sleep as I need, there just haven’t been enough hours in some days to post.

It might surprise you to know that even though many of these editions have been dispatched before, even those editions take an hour to check to make sure the content is still current, see if anything needs to be added, dropped, corrected, or better explained, and then post it to various blogs and social networking sites for everyone’s convenience. I don’t begrudge a minute of it, and in fact enjoy most of that process and answering the resulting questions that arrive in e-mail, blog comments, and forum posts, but there are times when I finish the day with a longer to-do list than I started with in spite of working steadily all day long. It’s just the nature of self-employment.

Indeed, I laugh sometimes when I hear somebody who has been punching a clock for 30 years say, “Boy, I wish I was self-employed. Make all that money and just work when I wanted to. You got it made.” Well, here’s a surprise for any of you who are contemplating self-employment: when an economy slows down and sales slow down because of it, you don’t work less; you work MORE. There’s nobody to pass the buck to. Good, bad, or indifferent, it stops with you. The freedom to make the choices in where your career goes comes with the responsibility to make those things happen. It’s rather like choosing a spouse: the freedom to choose to marry whomever you want comes with the responsibility – to yourself and to the other party – to choose wisely and deliberately. That’s our job, guys: rational, effective leadership through even the most emotional events and situations.

Speaking of which…

You’ve been enjoying the letters of my buddy David (“Think-First” on our forum, http://forum.makingherhappy.com/, a real master of the principles I teach), who has been swelling your brains for the last few days with vital lessons and examples of what and who a man needs to be, why he should do it, why he will ENJOY IT, and how to get there. When I woke up this morning he had dropped something else in the mail that all of you will find useful when you decide to get off the fence and get in the game, observations and explanations of what he’s already been through that doesn’t work, and further guidance in what does. Your undivided attention for about five minutes, please:

Good Morning!

I didn’t really get to the sickening parts of all the crap out there about being an Alpha Male. I was having several brainstorms at once while writing it and lost track a few times. Pointing out examples was one way of highlighting some of the behavior in an obvious way.

However, we come to the White Knight Syndrome of delusion. While many men mired in the BS of what they think are romantic ideals picture themselves being the White Knight coming to rescue their princess in the dark castle of the evil king, she’s dreaming of the stable boy. She knows a codependent and an approval-seeker when she sees one.

While men may picture themselves as the Macho Man proving his manhood on the weak and less fortunate by being the bully, she’s having fantasies of the mail clerk teasing the secretary. She knows if he’s bullying everyone else, he’ll want to bully her, too, and she wants a leader, not a bully.

While he’s cruising the streets showing the trappings of success in his new Escalade, BMW, Mercedes, or Corvette, she’s fantasizing about the guy driving his girl down the street on his Moped, weaving around just enough to get her laughing and screaming in delight. She knows that a man who thinks he needs devices to impress people has nothing within him that will do the job, and only those who don’t have to try to impress anyone and don’t care to are the only ones who can.

While he’s checking himself out in the glass as they walk by the stores to make sure his clothes and hair are just so, she’s checking out the guy in t-shirt and jeans who just dropped an ice cube down his girlfriends blouse when she thought he was putting his arm around her. She knows that a while a man needs to be well-groomed to project respect, a man who’s that worried about his looks isn’t going to have time to have fun with her.

While he’s proving his sensitivity by tearing up at the sad scene in the movie, she’s tearing up over the desire for the guy rolling his eyes, throwing out his lower lip in mock pout and teasing his lady about it. She knows that she needs a man who can bring her out of an emotional quagmire, not sit and drown in it with her.

An Alpha Male lives by the KISS principle. Keep It Simple Stupid. That’s why it’s such a relief to free yourself to be the man you were meant to be. Sure, you’ll be fighting the urge to habitually commit further atrocities of wimpdom until you learn to recognize that they are not part of your natural behavior and stop them before they happen, but now you’ll be equipped with a vigilant eye to root them out.

When you stop trying to figure out what you should do and do what your instincts and understanding tell you is right, confidence begins to soar. When you stop trying to act the part and live it, stress goes further and further away. It doesn’t mean things don’t happen that try any man’s soul. It means you now have the means to act freely, decisively, vigorously and with gusto, and move on.

In your relationship you respond in a natural way. You don’t have to figure out what you should be doing, you know. Like the man in your favorite poem, “Invictus,” wherever he is, he is free. Like the bird who fell from the tree without feeling sorry for itself, he is not whining about his present circumstances but relishing the freedom with which he lives. He will not apologize for himself. Feel sorry about it. Or rail against the circumstances that brought him there. He responds to the world from a heart and mind free of complication. No matter how hard others may try to cage him, he will always be free.

He will be open to learning new skills and new talents, and accepting and learning from mistakes he has made. And will triumph over them all. He will always understand this does not give him a license to bully, belittle or demean others. Far from it. While he may have little patience for a wimp, he will gladly work with anyone willing to discover for himself how he too can be who he was meant to be. And he’ll just as quickly take the bully off at the knees if need be, because he has the goods that the bully wants everyone to THINK he has.

From fear to freedom. The journey of any man willing to KISS his old life as a wuss goodbye and be reborn as the man he was intended to be. The man he is right now. Shedding his old dried skin and walking fresh and clean, hungry for new challenges. Instead of whining and bemoaning his present state, he seeks answers. If your relationship is heading south, resentment, boredom and confusion the rule of the day, stop making it worse by floundering around. KISS it. Believe me, she’ll love and respect you for it in ways you would not have believed. When you simplify your life by being true to yourself, leading and taking charge, her life becomes simpler as well. Her stress goes down. She is now free to KISS you as well. Like Ripley with the Alien dragon, she will fight any and all comers to protect her Man. She will be at your side in full power, glory and beauty to support, nurture and delight you as you journey together.

Forget fantasy. It can’t even come close to what you can have in real life. One KISSed by freedom, fun and happiness. Like Occam’s razor, the simplest answer is the best. Adding complications only moves you away from the sharp edge of truth. That sharp edge is not there to cut you. It’s there to cut away the crap weighing you down. Remove the burden of trying, pretending and acting and live free to move, run and laugh at the rain.

Off to work,

David

Folks, I don’t think there’s much I can add to that. I’ve been saying exactly the same thing for years: You can live a life of complication, fear, deceit, and discomfort, or you can be yourself and enjoy your life. Unless you have been severely deprived of testosterone during childhood and developed without its masculinizing influence, what David and I have been describing is your natural state, not the act you’ve been putting on, or more accurately, the world that has been pulled over your eyes to hide from you your true identity – and birthright.

No, I’m not going to start into “red pill or blue pill” metaphors from The Matrix. But I will tell you that the only regrets in life are the things you didn’t try, the risks you never took. What happens when you can no longer hide from your life by working late, or having an affair, or when you find that your wife is tired of hiding from her life and serves you the divorce papers because she’s finally met the stable boy, or the mail clerk, the guy on the moped, or the Harley? Or that “bad boy” that convinces her that she needs to take everything you have so he can enjoy it with her? That’s when regret sets in, and that’s when you’ll remember that you had the chance to fix it while it was still easy, but stayed on the fence instead of getting in the game.

Sitting on the fence will get you nothing more than a big splinter in your ass. Period. If you’re moving, even if you’re moving in the wrong direction, you can make a course correction; if you’re not moving, your dying, rotting away. So unless your relationship or marriage is everything you – and she – want it to be (and we both know if it were you’d be doing something else right now!), it’s time for you to go to http://www.makingherhappy.com/ and download your copy of “THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage” and get in the game while it’s still fun to play.

In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!
David Cunningham

Labels: Alpha Male, Flirting, How Women Behave, Leadership, Male Attitude, Naughty Play, Sweeping Her Off Her Feet, What Women Want

I hope you’ve been enjoying David’s insights. He was as lost as every other man when we met, but as you can see, he has indeed become a true master. He sent me a journal of sorts, describing a lot of what was going on at his place of business, which he entitled “Confessions of a Convenience Store Manager,” and I’m seriously considering letting all of you read it as well, because he writes well and makes excellent points.

I thought David was done enlightening us yesterday, but not so; indeed, he may not be done today! I sent him a quick note letting him know that he was featured in yesterday’s newsletter, in which I said that he was being so astute and explaining so well that a lot of the smarter readers would be able to home in on the attraction issue and thereby buy themselves some time to deal with the other big issues, like compatibility and communications. He replied:

It’s true. If they can’t see how this is the absolute foundation of what attraction REALLY is, they’ll never get it.

Since before even Aristotle’s time, it was considered a fact, indisputable by any rational means, in order to be true to others, you first have to be true to yourself. You first have to be a man or not one single thing you do to try to square anything in your relationship will work, PERIOD. You cannot fake this.

It won’t be taught in school, in seminars, or discovered from watching a movie. While I was married, I invested more than a thousand dollars in seminars, lectures, classes, and books. Then still more in counseling. Very expensive band-aids. Yet not a single one got me anywhere but more confused, more frustrated and both of us fighting all the time. When it was already too late, over by a few years, I finally discovered your book. More than 15 years invested, the pain, the doubts only to face an empty house, resentful ex and seeing my kids when she felt like it.

Now my ex wants me to teach her husband! She has hinted on more than one occasion she could very easily be persuaded to start over. It’s too late for that now for other reasons I won’t get into, but you see my point: it’s reversible, even after the divorce, as long as you’re still talking at all and as long as no other alpha male has presented himself in your absence, which dampens your chances considerably because he’s a sure thing and she may not want to risk having you mess up what she’s found.

Anyway, it’s no wonder so many men get overwhelmed with all the crap out there about this new program, those new skills or doing exercises to learn how to get along with your partner. And in my mind, this is where all the absurdity surrounding what makes an Alpha Male gets sickening.

A woman hates to be bored, and yes it’s your responsibility to see neither of you are. That does not mean you have to be Robin Williams for laughs, Donald Trump for money or Don Juan for romance. If you insist on measuring yourself by other people’s standards, you will never measure up because YOU ARE NOT THEM! YOU ARE YOU and should be proud of it!

When you free yourself of all the crap, you will amaze yourself at what you are capable of. When you stop trying to be funny and let it come from within, you’ll surprise everyone, most of all yourself! Making excuses about not being funny, interesting, or strong doesn’t cut it. An Alpha Male realizes there are no excuses. What is it Yoda said? “Do or do not. There is no try.”

Yes, all that fancy crap sounds very romantic. But have you stopped and thought why a woman in a mansion will have a fling with the pool man? The gardener? The mechanic? The chauffeur? It’s not his money, it’s not about his body. Good grief! Take a look at a plumber sometime, and how many jokes there are about his cheeks showing from under the sink and puttying his crack shut, yet he will inspire more offers than you think. I know. I used to be one.

Why is that? It’s not their clothes, their car, or their money. It’s because many of them are simply men being men. “No excuses to anyone, thank you, and you know what you can do with it if you want me to be something else.” That attitude of meeting life on his own terms and no others, head on, straight up, do or die. Get it done and do it right. Howard Roark in the flesh.

Read a good Romance novel recently? Many of the characters the women end up with in a hot affair are precisely the antithesis of what supposedly passes for a man these days! See when you finally stop thinking it’s something OUTSIDE of yourself that makes a woman want you, you’re finally starting to get it.

In the sappy movie Titanic, the lady snuck away from her rich suitor to experience life with a man – a REAL man. The passion in the back seat. Posing nude for drawings. Dancing and drinking with the “lower class.” The thrill, the excitement, the tension of maybe getting caught. Boring? Not in this lifetime! She was almost resigned to a life of correctness, appropriate behavior, and boredom. Then she began to live when she met a man who showed her what life could be like with someone not afraid to live it. She smelled adventure, and that was it. Game over.

Or Ripley in the movie “Aliens.” She was bitter, hard and cold until she met a man, a mere corporal mind you, who freed her to be a woman again. Someone she could trust to take charge and lead. Then she could relax, rest and finally begin to unwind. If you watch their interaction when he’s showing her how to use the rifle, then with the locater beacon wristband. This is a woman who was not afraid to tell the vice president of a corporation to go screw himself yet she’s giggling and getting all shy and playful with him. You can see the tension slowing moving away from her shoulders, her neck and her face. The rest of the movie she defers to HIM and no one else.

While there are other issues that make these movies less than ideal, the picture it paints is unmistakable. Can you even count the times men went ga-ga over Ripley? Wanted her? Yet were afraid of her at the same time. Why? All the clues were right there as well for what she wanted in a man. Did any of them even see them? NOT! He was not the leader until forced to. He was not the clown. He was not the loudest or put himself forward in any way. He quietly did his job. When asked to step up, he made no excuses; he just did it. He did not have to be in front to lead, he did not have to take charge of the room, he already owned it. He did not have to shout to be heard, they listened. While the others before him had to threaten and demand, when he told them what needed to be done, they did it.

And if you think I’m telling you that’s how ALL Alpha Males behave, you’re not paying attention. You will be different. If you’ve ever watched a comedy program where Robin Williams was on with others, do you notice how they all defer to him? How he can take over the whole show at any moment with never a second thought? He’s not aggressive about it; he’s simply being who he is. Others try and are sneered at while he is rewarded for it. He is a leader within his area of expertise, an authority. Chicks dig that, and men follow it.

None of these men were perfect, rich or even considered the top of the food chain. Yet they showed enough of what being a man is for the women to enjoy being a woman. Any man can be an Alpha Male right now. This minute. Not when he gets a better job, a better house or a better car. Right now. No more excuses. The cage door is open. It’s up to you whether you close it again and live in its shallow confinement or choose to live free as you were meant to be. No one or nothing makes that choice for you. You cannot blame anyone else, dodge the responsibility or worm your way out of it. Step up or step down. Your decision.

Think about it. I see from 40 to 50 women every single day I work. Young, old, skinny, fat, you name it. They all respond the same. I see teenagers, college girls, young professionals, stay at home moms, and corporate leaders walk through my doors every day. I talk to them all and while we may only talk for a grand total of 1- 5 minutes, it’s surprising what an impact those moments have on their day.

Over time there are quite a few I get to know much better. And they bring in their friends as well. When I’m off for a few days many of them ask where I am and tell me how much they miss me when I’m not there. I’ve detailed the other offers I get many times to you in private and I won’t go into them here. What I had dreamed of being was all inside me. It took your book to unlock it. I’ll never be able to thank you enough.

Later,
David

Wow. Can this guy preach or what? LOL! Seriously, if you’ll notice, he’s just doing what alpha males do: grabbing the bull by the horns, shooting straight, and taking charge of the situation. He has something to teach, something of great value gained through personal experience, and he’s stepping up in front of the crowd and saying, “Brothers! Lend me your ears and let’s fix your problems.” And make no mistake; this is natural behavior for him. I’ve watched it develop. And that’s why I wanted him to help at the forum; I know he’s the real deal and can trust him to set a good example for the rest of you, and I know that he gets things done when needed.

As I mentioned earlier, David won a contest, the prize for which was a copy of my book, “THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage.” He mentioned that he was interested in learning to write advertising copy, and I offered to help him learn. So we discussed my book quite a bit over the course of the next week or two as he was going through it trying to take command of the material to write a sales letter – self-improvement outside of learning to write advertising copy was not even his goal! But it soaked in, and took over. Watching the change in him, even though I was expecting it from having seen it in too many other men to count, was a delight to witness, and you see how he turned out – good enough to be a very popular and trusted member of the cadre at our forum, http://forum.makingherhappy.com/, too.

The world of women is his oyster, as is the rest of his world. He is where he is because he chooses to be there, and I know enough about his resume to know he could be in a lot of other places if he chose to do so. And he’s having so much fun studying women and watching for that special someone that he’s feeling no pressure whatsoever to commit to any of them, holding out for “the one” is an enjoyable experience for him. And all because he read a book, the very same one I am offering YOU.

It’s a book full of blindingly self-evident facts and truth, and it will do the same to and for you if you give it a chance. Download your copy today at http://www.makingherhappy.com/ and give it a try!

In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!
David Cunningham

Labels: Affairs, Alpha Male, attraction, authority, How Women Behave, Leadership, Male Attitude, Projecting Respect, Romance, Saving a Marriage, Sweeping Her Off Her Feet, What Women Want

I ran a contest a few years ago wherein readers were challenged to read a fable and glean from it any of several profound lessons concerning getting along with women. One of the winners quickly became a very close and valued friend, and helps me with advertising copy on my web site and helps moderate our forum (http://forum.makingherhappy.com/, he goes by “Think-First,” a very appropriate nickname since he’s consummately deliberate, and by the way, check out the “Hot Tips” forum while you’re there). Yeah, he’s that good.

His command of my information is outstanding, and his deployment of it has been flawless. And his job, managing a convenience store in a large city, gives him a never-ending stream of exposure to examples of what I teach of both male and female behavior. He is truly a master, and he occasionally sends me something that I have to send to all of you because its value to you is so self-evident. My good friend, David:

What if it turned out every man was who he was supposed to be? Right now. This minute.

What if all he had to do to live it was to see it, understand it and cultivate it?

What if the reason he wasn’t was because he was so buried in bulls**t about “today’s man,” the idea of why the old Marlboro Man ads were so frigging successful, and still are, completely eludes them?

What if being the man they dream of being, the success they want to be, the lady killer they dream of has little to do with learning something new, but everything to do with following our true nature?

How can you know who you are when you are so wrapped up in trying to fit yourself into a mold of someone else’s devising?

It seems to me no one buried us in it. We gladly wrapped the thick smelly coat of dried BS around ourselves out of what, fear?

Fear of disappointing whom? Mom, Dad, brother, sister, boss, girlfriend, or wife?

Fear of losing girlfriend, wife, or boss?

Fear of being seen as less than a man while hiding every sense, urge and instinct to scream “Screw this!”

Are we so afraid of being ourselves, men, real men, manly men who do manly things, that we see the coat as silk, smell the stench as sweet, and feel the bloody abrasion against our nature as soothing?

Can you tell I’ve had to deal with a bunch of wimps and wussies all week?

I was having this nice conversation with myself about how I finally realized I AM the man I always wanted to be. I have spent so much of my life covering it all up with BS because I never learned to trust myself. That understanding was key to releasing all the garbage holding me back and acting on what I know I am capable of. How it was all finally beginning to gel in my mind. Becoming clear enough I could finally see it, believe it and know it. Some may think of this as cocky but would have no idea it means I understand I am not perfect, don’t know nearly as much as I want to, not the shape I want to be in BUT I am happy with me. I believe in me.

What brought this all to a head was all the whining, complaining and groaning I’ve been hearing, especially some of these tough guys, young and old, gladly surrendering the fight to the women in their life to try to make them happy. And no matter what I say, they just scoff like I’m trying to blow smoke up their butt or something.

Has being a wimp to women become so commonplace and downright mainstream for men that being a man is heresy now?

That might actually be the start of a great headline… or a newsletter…

Ah well, to bed. I am off tomorrow and working 2-10′s for the next week starting on Friday.

Later!
David

Interesting points he makes. For starters, all of the “what-if’s” he opens with are rhetorical questions, a train of thought for a letter advertising my book that eventually turned into a rant. We ARE already the man we were born to be, and ARE cloaked in a veil of wussy “bovine manure” of dubious origin. And we took it on ourselves by choice. No woman, nor any other authority, twisted our arms and said, “You will be a wuss or suffer the consequences.”

We didn’t know what to do, misinterpreted women’s stated desire to have men be a bit more aware of women’s emotional needs, and turned into a bunch of insufferable wusses that women want no part of because they can’t respect us, can’t follow us, and we bore them to tears by always asking them what they want to do instead of leading into a conversation with at least a suggestion if not a tentative decision.

He also discloses something that I’ve been sensing in myself for a long time now: once a man has returned to being a real man, he has very little stomach for those who are still wallowing in wussdom. Based on conversations with women over the last few years, I seem to have as little tolerance as any of them, maybe even less, for indecisive, emotionally-driven, emotionally-overwhelmed men, unless they are trying to find their way back to being a man. You may not think this information has much of a direct effect on your relationship or marriage, but consider this:

“Alpha males” are what they are mainly because they exhibit leadership qualities. This gets them promoted into leadership positions, and one of them may well be your boss. If you’re acting wussy and indecisive as a result of having remade yourself to suit a woman (which she and I know isn’t working, by the way, even if you don’t yet), you can bet you’re annoying the life out of an alpha male boss, and since he knows how to spot leadership qualities, you can bet that a promotion isn’t in your future. A chilling thought? Spending the next thirty years of your career without advancement because you can’t take the reins? Scares the hell out of me.

And how do you think a wife might respond to it? With respect? Admiration? Attraction? I can assure you that most would respond to it by shifting into mother mode for a while before losing interest and having an affair or dumping you, while the rest would move straight into having an affair and dumping you at some point. A woman has to respect you to love you as a partner instead of a dependent, and being indecisive and failing thereby to improve and advance yourself certainly does not invoke respect.

Getting back to things that directly affect your relationship and marriage, the other big thing that David points out is that since we’re not talking about a reinvention, but a rebirth, a return to what you really are, we’re not talking about adding stress to your life; we’re talking about REMOVING it. You don’t have to put up with your wife being a brat. You can call her on it, as a man should, and in truth, AS SHE EXPECTS YOU TO DO!

You don’t have to defer all decisions to her. You can ask for her input and make the decision, as a man should, and in truth, AS SHE EXPECTS YOU TO DO!

To this day, I’m still amazed by the letters I get from men who are reading my NEWSLETTERS and saying how hard they think it will be to do what I teach, and how they don’t think they can do it. The only thing more amazing is the letters I get from the ones who have read my BOOK and returned to being a man, stating how EASY IT WAS, and how much THEIR WIVES LOVE IT AND LOVE THEM FOR IT.

Okay, I’ve preached enough for one day. It’s decision time. Can you make one? Are you going to continue to bore your wife to tears (and yes, you are, or you wouldn’t be reading this — go ask her!), and embarrass the life out of her by being a wuss, or are you going to straighten up, stand tall, and start enjoying your life, and allowing her to enjoy hers with you? It’s really that simple a choice. The former is hard, and takes a lot of effort on your part, while the latter is easy, as any man who has put my book to work will tell you. You already have everything you need to do it except the know-how, and you can have that in the next few minutes.

Just go to http://www.makingherhappy.com/ and download your copy of my book, “THE Man’s Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage” and see for yourself. And when you’ve turned a new leaf and find yourself being annoyed by girly-men as you enjoy a renewed marriage with a woman who thinks you walk on water, you can write me a letter like David’s, and I’ll publish it here for all the world to read and we men and our women will celebrate it with you.

In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!
David Cunningham

Labels: Alpha Male, Confidence, Leadership, Male Attitude, Self-Esteem, What Women Want